I don't know about you guys, but the past year went by like lightning flash! Without doubt, many things happened, some good and some bad.
To be honest, I haven't even reflected enough of 2004, and I have entered 2005, and having not even finishing on 2004, 2005 is over. But it definitely felt like it passed by faster than previous years! Could be an age thing, or for some strange reason, the space-time continuum seems to move faster in 2005 (sorry, it's a Star Trek thing, I'm in the middle of Star Trek Voyager Season 5 DVD right now). But anyway, I hope I have more time to reflect on the last two years (five, really, for me!). It's only the last five years that I have experienced more things that has changed the way I look at things, than I have in the first 22 years of my life. Some things, to be honest, I would've preferred not to look at or know about. Ignorance is bliss! Or at least it would have felt like that. And there are always things I wish could change about it, but gone is gone, and time waits for no man.
What strikes me most (from the last five years) is that I have begun to really grapple with things I would not have paid attention to, previously... feelings, experiences. In other words, I seemed to be more aware of things around me, and I sometimes feel I'm still trying to make sense of it. What's interesting is that I think I am still trying to make sense about a whole lot of things. Questions I normally don't bother asking arise... things I have taken for granted.
In fact, I feel a whole lot more stupider right now than before. I feel like I don't know anything at all. Maybe it's because I really don't.
Maybe that's what life really is?
I only pray that these experiences can make me a wiser man (boy, at heart!). Mature people say that wisdom comes with age. Perhaps. Or perhaps not. I've seen mature people act like they didn't have any. On the outward, it may seem that mature people I've encountered seemed to act and do things with wisdom... but in retrospect, they're no better than an ignorant.
I wish life was a whole lot more simpler. Peter Pan.
But then again, I keep telling myself, "What's life without some challenges, some fun?".
I've had some fun as well, this year. From a musician's perspective, as well as a regular person. I've also travelled a lot this year too. Been to China three times this year (can't say I like China, though). Been to Singapore a whole lot this year, too. I've played a whole lot of interesting gigs this year, from bands with Farid Ali, Greg Lyons, David Gomes, Sunrise Jazz Festival, and the most recent one, The Penang Island Jazz Festival. I've made quite some new friends in Penang. I think I've played more interesting gigs this year compared to any other year since I started my life as a musician. My last gig for the year 2005, was with the David Gomes Ensemble, at No Black Tie.. a big band jazz show. We did three sets of blistering jazz music, written for a 10-piece band, with a 5-piece horn section.
I've had dengue fever. Thankfully it was a mild one, but an experience that I do not relish going through again. Although, it sort of help make me lose weight and slim down to the most I've ever been! But definitely not fun to experience.
I picked up cycling, got myself a RM3K bike and enjoying my rides, not to mention help lose weight and burn fat! Yay.
I'm still single... painfully single.
I lost my wallet to a pickpocket in a train. Also not an experience I care to go through again as well.
Office politics have begun becoming more apparent in my life. I hate office politics. I just want to play music. And to be able make good music. I don't want to get involved in your political crap. Honesty, as I've realised, is not always the best policy. But then again, that's me. I'm stupid.
Anyway, not exactly a happy post to start off the New Year. But what the hell? Things are not always happy, hunky-dory. I've experienced a lot of wonderful things this year... I guess it's gotta balance out with some bad ones.
God, I pray that I am able to resolve things unresolved, and please give me the strength to find the wisdom to overcome these things, to face the unexpected future , whatever that lies ahead. I also pray that whatever I've experienced will pave way for a more positive outcome in the future, and perhaps I'll be able to experience more wonderful things in the year ahead. And I pray that everyone in the world will, too.
Some New Year resolutions I hope to accomplish (really!):
... get back on track with myself and my music...
... become a better musician...
... get my (slightly lesser) fat ass overseas to continue my studies in music (and whatever musical experiences that entail it)...
...concentrate a little more on my multi-sport training, running, swimming and cycling..
... lose more weight..
... complete a duathlon/triathlon...
... (LOSER ALERT!) get myself a girlfriend...
I guess there are some more, but mostly smaller ones.
I hope you all have had a good year in 2005, and I definitely hope it will be more fruitful and better this year.
HAPPY NEW YEAR 2006!!!